Go to What I SHOULD Have Said... main page
Here is one story retold, albeit with a pithier ending:
Ding-dong...."No, god here"
What happened: I was on the computer trying to get some work done when the doorbell rang. Once again it was my friendly neighborhood mormons, wanting to once again invite my children to come to Sunday School. For the 10th time since we moved in they handed me the schedule telling me when classes were and what teachers my little ones had.
What I said: Nothing...I just smiled politely..you know..The smile where you don't show any teeth.
What I SHOULD have said: 1. My husband stopped going to church years ago, and I don't practice religion at all. I don't want my kids influenced. OR 2. Satan told me you were coming...Come on in.... Damn it..Why do I always have to be so NICE????
The French call it l'esprit d'escalier, "the wit of the staircase," those biting ripostes that are thought of just seconds too late, on the way out of the room-or even, to tell the truth, days later. It's happened to you: you've suddenly thought of just what would put your foe in his or her place, but past the time when the arrow could sting its victim. You've stewed in your own juice ever since, and the chance for singeing repartee is gone forever.
Or is it?
Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde may have had the rapier wit to tweak their tormentors on the spot, but for the rest of us, we offer the Internet's only L'esprit d'escalier web site!